When I found out i was pregnant, one thing i was really excited for was to was attend mum and baby groups. My step mum had attended so many when my brothers were young and raved about them. She loved the friends she met, the activities she went on and the fun and memories she made with the boys. I used to think how fab it was she had this opportunity and that these groups were on offer. What made it better, my brothers loved it too! They learnt a lot and i really believe it gave them a great start before pre-school.
I went along one time. I was babysitting for my sister. My nephew was only about 18 months old and i took him along. We had a great time! Lots of singing and dancing around. I was in my element. A lovely atmosphere.
When Lennon was about 4 months old I finally plucked up the courage to go to one. I think things like that can be quite overwhelming when you a new mum. I kept thinking is he too young? Will he even get whats going on? but people reassured me it’s great for them so go!
I search around on the internet to find which groups I thought would suit Lennon and I. Then I noticed and under one’s group at a location not too far from me. Perfect, only a two-minute drive down the road. I thought this one would be ideal as i know the age thing i was worried about didn’t matter here as it was for under one’s!
When the morning of group came around, we were up and ready to go. Luckily the group didn’t start till 11.30 so had plenty of time in the morning. We know from The 7 P’s. im not great at getting out in the mornings.
When we arrived no one seemed to know what group I was on about. The under one’s i asked?… maybe down the corridor was the reply i got. I soon found it. A little play area room. I parked up my pram and went over to Where all the other mums were already gathered. I wasn’t late it just seemed the were all super early. Fully engrossed in conversation i just sat down near them and picked up a few toys for Lennon to play with. Being only little old tho he wasn’t that bothered.
After about half hour of being there no one, not a single person had spoken to me….
Ok so this is not how I remember my stepmums baby group being. She had friends! This was awful. I’d sat there in these other mummies company for over half hour and not one person said anything to me. They were all friends it was very clear to see! Chatting about each others children like they were god parents or something…
Eventually the group organiser who was apart of their little clique decided to give me a little smile and asked how old Lennon was. But that was it… that was my lot. She returned back to her conversation with her “friends”.
After about 50 mins i was done. And so was Lennon. He started crying!! YESSSS! I know that’s bad but i thought here’s my get out card. So i abruptly stood up and grabbed my babies bag and went sat over the other side and fed him. Soon after he was full I grabbed my pram, strapped Lennon in and set off.
I didn’t say goodbye….
In all honesty I’ve never felt so awkward. I felt as if i had walked into someone random womans living room and sat there like a fly on the wall whilst they discussed their plans for the week. Plans i was not invited too!!!
For my first experience at a mum and baby group it wasn’t great!! I can honestly say i haven’t been again!
The important thing here is I am fully aware that not every baby group is like this! So many friends on Facebook go to some fab groups, and another friend of mine started her own facebook page where she often arranges meet ups and its super lovely friendly and all are welcome!
I can’t help but think though what if i had been a single mum that had no friends? What if i had put every hope on meeting some friends that day as i was new to the area and had heard mum and baby groups were the way forward? What I’d been suffering from postnatal depression? I think the consequences could have been awful. Luckily i wasn’t bothered and laughed it off but that could not always be the case.
So next time you’re at a baby group maybe have a look around and check that person isn’t in your group. Make a little effort as it’s nice to be nice and that could genuinely make someones day!!
The 7 P’s. – My Organisation sucks!!! Read here…
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