I was never maternal.
Although my friends would say differently. I always take on the role of mum in our group. I really thought I was going to go through life without having children. Especially when I was diagnosed with PCOS I knew it would be difficult to even conceive so I just figured I would have a life without.
Then in 2016 my world changed when I found I was pregnant!!
I couldn’t believe it!!!! It was a huge mix of emotions for wayne and I! For many reasons…
- We’d only been together for 7 months. Although I’d know him from school and we’d been good friends for years and always stayed in touch, our actual relationship had only been going on for a small amount of time.
- We didn’t live together yet. Wayne had a house with roommates in and was not possible for me to move in or is to live there together with this baby. I on the other hand lived with my mum…
- We were at an age we wanted this. Me approaching 30 and wayne turning 32 we were at an age where we wanted exactly this. Our partying and drinking days were over and we 100% knew we wanted a life together!
- I was pregnant!! This was a hugeeeee surprise and miracle. I thought I wasn’t going to have one and yet there it is in a big blue cross. I was pregnant! The happiness completely outweighed the technicalities.
So we soon sorted out the living issues and we have our lovely little beach side flat in town. Perfect for our little family.
On 28th February 2017 my life completely changed!
Lennon Christopher Shirley
5lb 4oz was born at 10.19pm.
He was everything.
I feel like I didn’t know what love was until i saw that tiny little human. He was the best thing that happened to us! We were a family. A unit. And he was gonna to be given the best the life I could possibly give him!
My life completely changed after he was born. The simplest things became the hardest things. I wasnt just thinking for me anymore. I was completely responsible for this tiny tiny little baby! The thought was extremely overwhelming. Sometimes i found it so emotional when i considered my new life. It wasnt going to ever be the same again. That scared the shit out me!! But honestly….i couldnt wait!!! I kept thinking of all the adventures im going to make sure we have as a family, whats his little personality going to be like? will he love dancing just like me?
Now were 6 months in, ive managed to keep him alive and i love it more than i ever thought i would. Being a mum is so hard but so so rewarding! It’s by far my biggest achievement. I’ve learnt so so much about myself and am ready for the challenges ahead.
Let’s face it… there’s gonna be tonnes!
And to Lennon…
Thank you my little lifechanger.